Liberal Burblings

Archive for December, 2006

Life is full of ironies.

Richard Benyon MP was nearly run over by a bus in Northbrook Street, Newbury last week. In his Westminster Diary he commented:

“I was nearly run over by a bus in Northbrook Street on Friday. Buses do not rev these days, they purr and this one crept up on me with the speed and stealth of a cheetah…

“It proved an expensive experience because I was saved by an eagle-eyed charity chugger to whom I felt duty bound to contribute. No more Newbury By-elections for the time being.”

Despite strong local opposition led by the Liberal Democrats, Conservative-controlled West Berkshire Council has recently returned buses to Northbrook Street following the completion of works to make the street “one-level” for 10am-6pm pedestrianisation.

This has led to a very dangerous mixture of buses and pedestrians – the latter using the freedom of the “one level” street to roam all over the width of the street.

A bus driver of 19 years service has reportedly resigned rather than face such an “unsafe” drive through town.

It is most fortunate that this accident was not serious.

There is something of an irony here. The near-miss would allegedly appear to be not entirely unconnected to what many locals see as the alleged “mistake” of Mr Benyon’s own party in putting the buses back into Northbrook Street. (That’s enough legal caveats – Ed)

The episode certainly falls effortlessly under the heading: “You couldn’t make it up”.

There is some excitement in the humble home of the Walters.

My wife has cleverly snapped up three tickets for the Scissor Sisters in July. Great. Something we all enjoy and rave about. They cross the generations do those crazy sisters.

She said it was at something called “O2″ in Greenwich – a venue she hadn’t heard of.

A quicky googly reveals that it is only at the Millennium Dome in the very month they re-open it!

Excitement indeed!

I was very pleased with myself yesterday at 7.30am. I announced to my bleary-eyed nine-year-old daughter that Joseph Barbera had died.

Who he? – ed.

Well she didn’t say that, but did ask who he was.

…Only the bloke that co-drew Tom and Jerry, Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, Scooby Doo, The Jetsons, Hucklebury Hound and a shed-load of other cartoon favourites which my daughter watched 24 hour a day from her nappy days onwards on “Cartoon Network” etc etc.

Joseph Barbera was the partner of William Hanna, and as Hanna Barbera they were a pair of cultural giants. They weren’t high brow. But goodness me, their cartoons have lasted.

Why the title of this blog: “Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllmaaaaaaaaa!”? Well, my daughter and I always used to particularly enjoy the bit at the end of the Flintstones, when Fred got locked out of his house in the process of putting his milk bottles out for the night and banged on the door and screamed “Wiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllmmmmmmmaa!!!” to be let back in.

Quality!

Spare a thought for 84-year olds. My dear father-in-law, a lovely, lovely man, is now 84.

We celebrated his birthday last night at a marvellous, trendy eaterie.

I did feel sorry for the poor fellow.

At 84, things start to feel very alien, I’m sure. Certain reliable things in life start to crumble in front of you. What you used to rely on is now a thing of the past.

Take beer mugs. Yes, mugs. Nowadays it’s all in “sleeves” or smooth glasses without a handle.

Never mind. My father-in-law always charms the bar staff by saying:

“Would it be possible to have it with a handle?”

Until that is, he got to his 84th birthday and the terribly nice eaterie we went to. They don’t have mugs. Only “sleeves”.

Oh dear.

Never mind. It’s Brakspears. Super. Only the waiter comes back to say that someone seems to have knocked the barrel so it will take half-an-hour before it’s ready to drink.

Oh dear. The pub with no beer.

Let’s have some wine instead. Great.

The wine arrives and the waiter leaves it in a wine cooler on the table.

“Excuse me”, pipes up father-in-law with some distain in his voice,”Wouldn’t it be a good idea to put some ice in the ice bucket?”

“No dear father-in-law, it’s not an ice-bucket, it is a wine-cooler which works on the insulation principle, based on the gap between its two layers of plastic”.

Oh.

Dear.

The News of the World reports Lembit’s relationship with one of the Cheeky Girls, who says:

“That night at his flat was amazing. Lembit’s a very experienced lover. It was pure love, not ‘bang, bang’ sex and that’s it. He went on for hours. The age difference is not a problem for us…

“There was such a build-up of desire—and a huge explosion between us. Lembit was very gentle and passionate, his hands all over my body…

“And the more we make love, the better it gets!…

“We make love to music. I love underwear. I like to dress up in a girlie way and Lembit likes that…

“He has invited me to Wales for Christmas so I’ll go on Boxing Day. I want to give him a great surprise. I’ll definitely dress sexily!”

Meanwhile, in the Mail on Sunday, Sian Lloyd pours her heart out about the end of her relationship with Lembit. (I think I deserve a gold star for keeping any reference to the chubbiest digit on the hand out of this).

While all this is moderately salacious, there doesn’t appear to be any smoking gun whatsoever, or, indeed, any connection to politics.

In the US, Senator Barack Obama is getting a phenomenal welcome in New Hampshire and has raised $1 million from ordinary people. A presidential run seems very likely.

New Hampshire is, of course, the first election in the presidential primaries. Candidates have to make a good showing there. The first serious primary, however, is often thought to be Iowa.

Interestingly, a recent poll from Iowa shows John Edwards doing well:

Former Sen. John Edwards (D-NC) “came out far ahead of the rest of the pack of possible Democratic presidential candidates in a poll of Iowa Democrats,” reports the Des Moines Register.

The survey results: 36% of Iowans support Edwards, followed by Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) with 16%, Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) with 13%, and Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack (D) with 9%.