Liberal Burblings

Archive for September, 2006

I know Mark Pack has done this already, but I like this headline from the Telegraph so much that I felt like repeating it – twice:

Blow for Cameron as poll lead is slashed

That feels better!

While it is good to see David Cameron using the internet, I would advise having a paperbag at the ready if you go to Webcameron.

Does he think we were born yesterday? If you were going to do a videcast would you do it while you were doing the washing up? I bet he’s got a dishwasher anyway – so I suspect the whole dishwashing thing was a sham. And would you conveniently have someone in your kitchen who is able to hold the camera and provide the right degree of “wobble”?

The BBC reports of the Conservative conference:

…there will even be regular votes on the conference floor, which is a novel idea for a Tory conference, on a series of “hot topics”.

Subjects to be tackled include “should marketing to children be banned?” and “alcohol does more harm than drugs”.

Votes will be cast, X Factor-style, with electronic handsets, although what happens to the results once they are in is less clear.

Excellent. So let’s suppose everyone votes to say “yes – alcohol does more harm than drugs”.
Then what happens? And (putting aside the fact that alcohol is a drug) what about smoking tobacco, which, when I last checked, kills about five times as many people per year as alcohol?

So the Conservatives – all these wise grey haired individuals – make ponderous statements such as “alcohol does more harm than drugs”. That is really worth the membership fee isn’t it? Presumably the results of the votes will be written in stone rather like that “I believe” statement which Howard, or was it IDS?, came up with. Then have a ton of earth will be slung on top of the stone and it will be forgotten.

Presumably no vote will be held on the “hot topic” of some of David Cmaeron’s recent announcements, for example his idea that the Queen’s powers should be lessened. Now that would be a corker. I would expect the machinery to explode with indignation as the delegates pressed their buttons on that one.

The BBC reports of the Conservative conference:

…there will even be regular votes on the conference floor, which is a novel idea for a Tory conference, on a series of “hot topics”.

Subjects to be tackled include “should marketing to children be banned?” and “alcohol does more harm than drugs”.

Votes will be cast, X Factor-style, with electronic handsets, although what happens to the results once they are in is less clear.

Excellent. So let’s suppose everyone votes to say “yes – alcohol does more harm than drugs”.
Then what happens? And (putting aside the fact that alcohol is a drug) what about smoking tobacco, which, when I last checked, kills about five times as many people per year as alcohol?

So the Conservatives – all these wise grey haired individuals – make ponderous statements such as “alcohol does more harm than drugs”. That is really worth the membership fee isn’t it? Presumably the results of the votes will be written in stone rather like that “I believe” statement which Howard, or was it IDS?, came up with. Then have a ton of earth will be slung on top of the stone and it will be forgotten.

Presumably no vote will be held on the “hot topic” of some of David Cmaeron’s recent announcements, for example his idea that the Queen’s powers should be lessened. Now that would be a corker. I would expect the machinery to explode with indignation as the delegates pressed their buttons on that one.

I am not sure whether the police can at least investigate Noel Edmonds after he admitted driving naked on the Tring by-pass (where else?) at 186 mph at 4am 30 years ago.

I’ll be charitable and accept the explanation of Edmonds’ spokesman that he was confessing to something he now accepted was extremely foolish, rather than bragging to a lads’ magazine.

It is tempting not to be charitable though.

I was half-listening to ‘Deal or no deal’ this afternoon as my wife watched it in the kitchen.

It has barely comprehensible rules, an apparently aimless sequence of moves and inane cheering at some apparently random point.

I’ve got it. The penny has finally dropped.

‘Deal or no deal’ is the televisual version of ‘Mornington Crescent’!